the mystery of death...

i have to say that i don't understand death.
one moment a person is present, the next he/she is not...

as of early this morning i now have been honored to be a part of four bedside departures.

today we sang old hymns, read scripture, prayed and helped my brother-in-law, john,
make his pilgrimage to be with jesus.

thankfully he didn't have to suffer very long...thankfully for those of us he left behind, we know he is celebrating in heaven this morning.
but if i'm honest...it feels very surreal.

several of you have been wondering what was up in my life, since i haven't posted much and especially due to my last facebook whereabouts.
i have been spending a lot of time in the last month at university hospital with my niece (she's 12) helping her deal with the fact that her dad was dying.

on aug. 20th her dad discovered he had cancer,in  lung, kidney and a tumor in his brain. he had brain surgery the monday before labor day weekend. he seemed to be recovering fine from this major surgery, even walking a couple of miles a day...
the week of sept.11th he began having stomach pain and thought it might be the meds he was taking. rob and i were on call for hospital duty and hanging out with maddy. 

turns out that the cancer had spread to his intestines and a cat scan revealed that it was on his adrenal gland and on his bones in his arms and legs.

the last two weeks have been intense to say the least. discovering that the cancer was already at stage 4 just last week was a shock.
rob spent the night at the hospital many nights, as did a friend named tom (who also was with us this morning when john died)  we spent days praying and being with john's wife, rob's sister barbara.

she called us at 2:45 am to ask us to go be with john.
we arrived at the intensive care unit with in the hour and knew his time was short.
we actually knew yesterday that every hour was a gift and due to the amount of cancer
working against all of his systems, he was just tired of fighting.

thankfully, john's brother arrived from alaska in time to say good bye last night.
and rob and i were able to be with barbara and maddy and robert as they learned of john's death
upon arriving at the hospital.

please keep the haines family and the lewin crew in your prayers.
we are all tired... and after living on adrenaline for the last month, i know that coming down
will be slow and hard.

thanks for all of you who've been praying already. i know that it's helped a lot,
especially as i've had a couple of other major stresses happening at the same time!

some of my learnings from john's illness and death....so far.

• we don't know what tomorrow will bring....live your dreams NOW...don't wait for someday.

• each day is a gift...live it to the fullest.

• hug your kids, enjoy each moment, love your spouse, take time to be present.
• life is long, but it is also very short and very precious...don't waste it by running or working so much that you dont' have time to just BE with jesus and with those you love

sending a virtual hug to you all today. lil
psalm 34

Comments

[Dan]

sorry to hear how things progressed since we last talked and prayed for you that the family will strongly sense God's presence during this time. and a virtual hug to you and rob......

[Andrew Seely]

< hugs > lots of em!!!

[Cindy]

Lily,

I am sorry to hear that John has passed away. Everyone will continue to be in my prayers and please let me know if you need anything.

Here's something I learned when my friend who was like my brother passed away....

The reason death stinks so much and is so painful and is unreal is because we were wired to live forever. We were created with eternity in mind. But the kicker is we don't understand what living forever is like because this life is all we know. So death is confusing because we know one thing (living for eternity) yet we have experienced another (life on earth).

It's the tension that God is so good at creating and growing us in.

May God be of more comfort than you've ever known,
Cindy

[Helen]

I'm so sorry, Lilly.

[Jim Henderson]

Lily and Rob

All of your friends in OTM land are thinking of you and about you. We carry you in our hearts

[Heidi Renee]

Praying for you all Lilly. I'm so sorry for your loss.